well, another day, another blog

hello again !

Seems like it's time to chat again, it's late, almost midnight, don't know if will get to sleep tonight if i don't get this stuff off my mind, so, here goes...

First, went to the ortho man on monday regarding the ankle surgery that was set for this Friday, only to find out he couldn't find a pulse in my left foot, and my toes were purple as heck, dusky is the word, so he tried with the doppler, still, no pulse audible, so, HALT for the surgery, and he wrote a consult for a vascular surgeon, i came home, wrote Dr. Malm a note and faxed it to him, and he called in 5 minutes ! NO SHIT, only 5 minutes, with the name of a doc he recommends at Palos Hospital, so, i called and have an appointment with him this Monday, he will undoubtedly order an angiogram and see if/where the artery is blocked and proceed accordingly, either medication, a stent or by pass surgery, thrill, thrill, but, better to find it now, then have something happen...but what the ortho was worried about is that the surgical wound wouldn't heal, so ankle surgery is delayed till we find out...will let you know.

Second, A while back, i stated that i wouldn't be sending anymore blogs, if you want to read them, for you to click on the link. well, the hell with that, im going to explain the reason, tell it all, tell the "truth" of who got pissed and why and just let it be.

In the second blog i wrote, way back when, i said, simply: well, this wont' let me copy/paste, but it was about my friend, Lynn, who called all in a dither, about something, and i didn't say what at the time, but then she ate a 20 piece mcnugget dinner from mcdonalds, went and got her nails done and felt better....
that's "all" i wrote, well, it pissed her off enough that she has ended our 47 year friendship, just totally ended it, said that i'm toxic, that she's always thought i was smarter than her, that she envied my outgoing ability to talk and meet people, and that she now realizes I'm nothing...just a big, fat nothing...and lots more, it was totally vile and awful and at first i was hurt by it, then pissed, now, i'm just finished with it, her, all of it.. so, i never ever want to hear about her again, think about her again, as far as i'm concerned, she's dead. what it boiled down to, is this: she had her teeth pulled, about 7 years ago, at least 7, and i've been friends with glenn jones for.....36 years, and in all of these years, he and i have continued to see one another, talk on the phone regularly, he's come over to the house, and yes, we've had sex: all these years, even though he's been married, I've been in a relationship with Stan for the past 6, but even before when i lived in the country after butch died, glenn came over early in the a.m., had coffee, sex, more coffee, but it's mostly been a deep,deep friendship, with benefits, (lol). well, glenn had his teeth pulled some years ago, and one day he told me he was having trouble with his dentures, and i told him about the dentist lynn went to in Pontiac and liked. well, years and years have passed, and she was having computer problems in florida, and i couldn't help her, but i told her i would have glenn call her and he could walk her through it, he's really good with computers.......but, glenn "never" cared for lynn, all these years, he's thought she was jealous, angry, spiteful, but he was nice and he called her and walked her through the problem with the computer..
well, lynn "decided" she would like to have sex with him, because he was "nice" to her....and they began chatting on yahoo messenger, and she asked me if i still had sex with glenn, and i told her yes, well, she said, "don't have sex with him anymore, i want to", i said, well, go ahead, i don't own him, his wife does, but if you want to, go for it, if he is agreeable," well, he wasn't ! but, he did ask her for the dentist name that she liked.....OMG !~~~ THE FURY !!!!
she called and screamed at me, "HOW COULD YOU HAVE TOLD GLENN JONES I HAVE DENTURES?" i didn't even remember, it was 6 years ago......but, i said, "well, he has dentures too and wanted help from you"....omg, she then said, "I CAN NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN, AND I SURE CAN'T FUCK HIM, CUZ HE KNOWS I HAVE FALSE TEETH" OMG !!!!!!!! i said, men don't care if women even have teeth, it's not teeth they are interested in..
she said, "I will never talk to you again, tell you anything, trust you again and I hate you, your a toxic friend"... and has made trouble for me with glenn, and after all these years, he today wrote me an email and said "leave me alone" i had asked him his "opinion" about what i blogged, and he gave me his honest opinion that lynn is a private person, and i shouldn't blog about her anylonger, but i had already quit, he also said, that' i've changed since the car accident and not for the better, and i know that i have, but am working hard daily with therapy, both cognitive and with an actual counselor to find out what is wrong, how to improve it, and what to do..
Well, the relationship with Lynn is gone, and i'm glad, cuz she has done a lot of hurtful things that i never told anyone, but i am sad that glenn has chosen not to be my friend anymore, that is a loss, but i will just think of him as being dead, cuz to me, he has died..
some time ago, my friend, Virginia's little melanie, and she was only about 18 at the time, i was at their house, feeling kind of low about my lack of self esteem, and mel suggested that i write little snippets of positives and tape them all over the house, the bathroom mirror, the kitchen cupboards and i did...like, I'm smart, I'm pretty, I'm a good friend, I'm neat, I'm attractive, you know that kind of thing... well, they were up for only a week, and on a saturday, only Virginia, my friend, Annette and Lynn were at my house, that afternoon, as i was in the bathroom, "I'm sexy" was on the mirror and someone had taken black ink and scratched through it, "everyone" , Virginia, Kathy, Stan and even glenn, said to me, "lynn did it" she's jealous that your feeling good about yourself.....
when i asked her about it, she vehemently said, "NO, I DIDN'T DO THAT, HOW COULD YOU THINK IT WAS ME?".....and she didn't speak to me for one year....
i've always, always known it was her, but forgave her and believed her..
she also always told me she wanted to have sex with Tom, my husband, she had sex with a great many of our "friends" husbands, even laying "in" bed with them, while on the phone with the wife crying, "my husband is cheating and i don't know with who"
she called another one of her friends, "douche" cuz the woman had sex with one man in the p.m. and another at night and didn't douche in between, and stunk, the woman lived with lynn at the time, some friend, huh??/
She says that her boyfriend, Dave, has a penile implant, tells everyone that, but won't tell him even that she has false teeth...has a "boy toy" in florida she fucks weekly, when dave is golfing, and she is friends with daves ex, carol, but says carol is on pills and is high all the time, that his daughter, Tracy, has a retard for a son, oh, she is vile,
now, i'm stooping to her level, but she threatened me first, so, i told her i was going to do this...and i did, i'm true to my word....and it's not because she ended the friendship, but lied to Glenn, added a sentence into an email i sent her, that i wrote, that i would tell his wife, joyce about our long friendship, sex or something, i never ever did that, but she has cost me the friendship of glenn jones, and that's a serious thing to me... glenn has been there, when tom died, with my horrible marriage to McMillin, we weren't intimate during those years, but he was there, on the phone, talked me thru a lot of pain, after butch died, he's been the one steady man in my life, that i could depend on to talk to, to share pain, happiness with, and i've been there for him, now, it's over, it's ended...
so, have you read enough, it's out, the reason i asked you each if you wanted anymore blogs....
well, i will only blog about myself, funny stuff, family stuff and if you want to share, i will...
i know that none of you know who else i send these too, but if you get this, then i count you as a "friend", and i have been truthful, have kept your confidences, not gotten into the middle of anything, but, i'm not taking the damage lynn has done...due to her jealousy of my having kept you in my life, of my having had "other" friends, through my lifetime...and she has been very jealous of you,
so, i'm gonna close now....almost an hour has passed and i will sleep like a baby having gotten this off my chest and out of my head...
so, i would now like to hear from each of you, if you still consider me a friend, or if you too, would like the relationship to end...i will honor each/every request/thought.
and I am, still tonight:

Winstons MOMMY