Happy Friday to everyone !!!!
Today was simply marvelous, I began by writing Jim a good bye letter and wrote him a poem too, his loss, not mine, cuz, i'm okay being alone, he doesn't want to be alone, and is settling for a dysfunctional life, so, time for me to move ahead.
My girlfriend, Darrelle, Oak Park, invited me to go to an Art Fair in the art district of oak park tonight, they have this monthly with loads of shops, very artsy people, educated, lots of ecclectic restaurants, and it was so nice, just browsing, walking, smelling the flowers, look at the gorgeous , old , 3 story homes, eating at a sidewalk cafe,and just enjoying one another's company. She's a nurse too, and also an artist and author of a great book, soon to be screen play and we hope a movie, a true biography of happenings in her life.. so, it was a great day all in all.
got a wonderful email this a.m. from Ida, and another from Marcia, both lauding my efforts at writing, and both told me that I say things as they are, and i do, my right to do this, with that first ammendment, and i will continue to do so...hey, speaking of ammendments, i saw an actual "american" cab driver tonight, right in oak park, in front of the ymca....he was about 50, and we talked and i applauded him for being the last american, white, cab driver in any metropolitan area, didn't think there were any left now, he says he's been driving a cab for 10 years, all over the city, but lives at the Y.M.C.A.in oak park, so, a single white guy with a job and teeth and definitely has a car is available...
wrote all my girlfriends a note and asked them to get together before my ankle surgery, heard from one early, early this a.m. who was just thrilled to hear from me, so, she's available for a get together....anyone else game????
Isn't Michael Douglas just a hottie, cutie !!!! wowowow, he's on letterman tonight, and he's still a hunk of burning love !!! but no hair on his chest, so lame o, lame o, men without hair don't do a thing for me, gotta have that hair to nuzzle in.... he's gonna be 65 years old this month !!!!
I've decided to move my ankle surgery up a few weeks, don't want to wait till october 30, why not start healing right away, i've had a problem with it since i was 17, worse the last 6 years, so, Monday i'll call the doc and set the date, will keep you informed next week.
I think i will take tomorrow off, will not blog on Saturdays, and let things happen that are interesting to write about, not that i don't have an interesting day every single day, cuz i make them interesting, smile at strangers, tell people they are pretty or handsome, if they are, they should hear that...oh, pretty Judy was here this a.m., i love seeing her and she even "drops" in like the old days, we are still normal and do that.....
Tiger is golfing right up the road from our house, the traffic is brutal near Cog Hill, but, man, he's good, and soo handsome, mom loves him, but if I had brought Tiger home, in the 60's, she'd have had my ass, funny how times change,huh....but he's just beautiful and seems like such a down to earth man....greatest athlete of our time, he must spend hours every day working out, training, is sure dedicated and made his father soo proud....
Well, I'm signing off, going to bed now, it's almost 11:30 p.m. I've done enough for today....
you have a wonderful week end, hope the weather is good wherever you are, it is here...such a pretty time of year and you know, October is my favorite month of all, always has been.
So, Goodnight and hope to hear from you soon...
Winston's mommy.....
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
hello , i'm tired of keeping track of the week, day
so, i'm not going to do that any longer, as this is suppose to be fun, not work, no stress, it's not graded, and after all, these are my thoughts, right/wrong/indifferent !!!! It's been just a lovely day, the weather is such to feel really great about being alive, being in the here and now of it all.
Tomorrow, i "think" i'll go see the woodstock movie, all by myself, alone, me-myself, stan wouldn't like it, he's not into that kind of music or culture, but I remember it well, not that I went to woodstock or even tried pot, but i sure liked the music and for many years i wish i would have had the gumption to go, to be that cool, to night care about showering for a few days, not caring about anything....but, I was too small town, way too Catholic with all the inhibitions that went with it, trying to be "in", but always just outside of it all, if there was another woodstock for senior citizens, I'd be the first to leave, believe me, and would pick up Judy and Darrelle, and maybe Sandy would go too, i know we would have the balls to do it, without the sack !!! Music, sex, drugs and rock and roll, baby !!! actually, tonight all the cool folks , mellencamp, Kristofferson, Springsteen, Joan Biaz, Arlo Guthrie, were on the T.V. for a 90th birthday celebration for Pete Seeger, kind of funny, the druggies, as they were known as, are still going strong, look at keith richards, rod stewart, if we could have been so insightful to do some of those drugs, write some of those lyrics, made some of that money and be as with it as they are today....Who ever said, "Drugs Kill"??????????? baloney sausage, and i 'll never know cuz i didn't do any, i couldn't inhale, after all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so, next topic, my friend got a car seat for her pooch and i know i want one for Winston, he will be safe and be able to see out, she says, her dog loves it....just loves it, and is safe and secure !!!! so, on my wish list is a pet booster seat for a dog.....cuz i take winston with me everywhere i go, he's my companion, my security person, the man of my life....
got a few good jokes in email today, sent them to some of you, they are very funny and from a guy that graduated 3 years ahead of me, i still like him, by golly and he was a squints regular, so you know what that was about !!! and he still has a brain toooo
also, found the child i had in the 60's and gave up for adoption on facebook, and she is soo pretty and looks just like me, with a son, which i didn't know cuz we've lost track of one another, and i found her sis also, so sent them both a note, hope they respond...but it's good to see her picture and she looks happy.
T.V. really sucks ! but, next week, the season begins.....Curb Your Enthusiasm is back on sunday night on HBO, actually I got HBO just for that series....it's funny, he's just an ordinary guy, Larry David, who created Seinfeld, but this show is all about him, his life and his friends, and he is always in trouble, he's kind of a bumbler, he reminds me of the things I innocently get in to....sort of in trouble all the time, right on the edge !!!!
and then..."In Treatment" will be back, show about a psychologist and 5 /6 of his patients, 6 1/2 hour segments every week, we look into their lives...HBO, it's excellent, and i like all of the troubled people a lot, then, there will be the violent shows, i like the violent ones a lot, but the Shield has ended, NYPD Blue is over, the sopprano's ended....gosh, will there be more violence to go to sleep with that is just fantasy, like the news is every single night, Marcia doesn't stay up for the news...so she sleeps peacefully, I get fuel from it however, and lots of dreams.....well, nightmares.....but i like em once in a while, will sleep peacefully for eternity after all, gotta get my fix where i can get it...!!!!!
Some of you write me when i don't blog daily, say you miss it....so, i'm asking could this be a career for me??? could i get paid to do this????? do articles about life, stuff, human relationships, sex, booze, affairs, humor, things people like to read about...cuz their own life is dull, and i like spicing it up....should i send copies of my blogs to some magazine people???? news people? bill Maher?????? I do have such a wacky sense of humor, i find funny stuff in every single instance...like when i had surgery for melanoma, i looked awful, big bandage on my nose, yellow, looked like a corn cob.....with a drain hanging out the side of my neck. Butch took me to the oakley for a cheeseburger like that, and some guy was staring at me , Butch saw the guy, and yelled, "Buddy, for crying out loud, don't stare, she's a cancer survivor!!!!" the guy almost crapped his pants and ran out the door of the bar !!! we laughed and laughed about it....still remember that day very well..... see, humor, i thought i was gonna die, but it was still funny !!!!!!!!
Well, i changed fonts to write that, now can't find the regular font, brother....john was here today for a computer lesson, i forgot how to scan photo's , burn discs, forgot everything and just couldn't get it...it's gone from my brain, and i don't know how to find it again another example of this damn brain injury, i'm really sick of it....glad i still know/remember you......but, soon i might forget, so if you don't hear from me for a while, call and remind me...i'm serious about this....
so, for tonight, Fuck Jim, Fuck Stan, Fuck Men, (except Winston) and of course, my friend Ray, california Ray, who loves me no matter how goofy i get/am, he faithfully calls me almost every single week, just to check on me, and say he loves me, why can't a straight man feel that way????? guess he's like a girlfriend to me ! i'll take that though, faithful, like my friends....maybe Jim died, looked at the obits tonight, he wasn't there, but maybe they haven't found his body yet...i dunno....
Good night....
Sherry
Tomorrow, i "think" i'll go see the woodstock movie, all by myself, alone, me-myself, stan wouldn't like it, he's not into that kind of music or culture, but I remember it well, not that I went to woodstock or even tried pot, but i sure liked the music and for many years i wish i would have had the gumption to go, to be that cool, to night care about showering for a few days, not caring about anything....but, I was too small town, way too Catholic with all the inhibitions that went with it, trying to be "in", but always just outside of it all, if there was another woodstock for senior citizens, I'd be the first to leave, believe me, and would pick up Judy and Darrelle, and maybe Sandy would go too, i know we would have the balls to do it, without the sack !!! Music, sex, drugs and rock and roll, baby !!! actually, tonight all the cool folks , mellencamp, Kristofferson, Springsteen, Joan Biaz, Arlo Guthrie, were on the T.V. for a 90th birthday celebration for Pete Seeger, kind of funny, the druggies, as they were known as, are still going strong, look at keith richards, rod stewart, if we could have been so insightful to do some of those drugs, write some of those lyrics, made some of that money and be as with it as they are today....Who ever said, "Drugs Kill"??????????? baloney sausage, and i 'll never know cuz i didn't do any, i couldn't inhale, after all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so, next topic, my friend got a car seat for her pooch and i know i want one for Winston, he will be safe and be able to see out, she says, her dog loves it....just loves it, and is safe and secure !!!! so, on my wish list is a pet booster seat for a dog.....cuz i take winston with me everywhere i go, he's my companion, my security person, the man of my life....
got a few good jokes in email today, sent them to some of you, they are very funny and from a guy that graduated 3 years ahead of me, i still like him, by golly and he was a squints regular, so you know what that was about !!! and he still has a brain toooo
also, found the child i had in the 60's and gave up for adoption on facebook, and she is soo pretty and looks just like me, with a son, which i didn't know cuz we've lost track of one another, and i found her sis also, so sent them both a note, hope they respond...but it's good to see her picture and she looks happy.
T.V. really sucks ! but, next week, the season begins.....Curb Your Enthusiasm is back on sunday night on HBO, actually I got HBO just for that series....it's funny, he's just an ordinary guy, Larry David, who created Seinfeld, but this show is all about him, his life and his friends, and he is always in trouble, he's kind of a bumbler, he reminds me of the things I innocently get in to....sort of in trouble all the time, right on the edge !!!!
and then..."In Treatment" will be back, show about a psychologist and 5 /6 of his patients, 6 1/2 hour segments every week, we look into their lives...HBO, it's excellent, and i like all of the troubled people a lot, then, there will be the violent shows, i like the violent ones a lot, but the Shield has ended, NYPD Blue is over, the sopprano's ended....gosh, will there be more violence to go to sleep with that is just fantasy, like the news is every single night, Marcia doesn't stay up for the news...so she sleeps peacefully, I get fuel from it however, and lots of dreams.....well, nightmares.....but i like em once in a while, will sleep peacefully for eternity after all, gotta get my fix where i can get it...!!!!!
Some of you write me when i don't blog daily, say you miss it....so, i'm asking could this be a career for me??? could i get paid to do this????? do articles about life, stuff, human relationships, sex, booze, affairs, humor, things people like to read about...cuz their own life is dull, and i like spicing it up....should i send copies of my blogs to some magazine people???? news people? bill Maher?????? I do have such a wacky sense of humor, i find funny stuff in every single instance...like when i had surgery for melanoma, i looked awful, big bandage on my nose, yellow, looked like a corn cob.....with a drain hanging out the side of my neck. Butch took me to the oakley for a cheeseburger like that, and some guy was staring at me , Butch saw the guy, and yelled, "Buddy, for crying out loud, don't stare, she's a cancer survivor!!!!" the guy almost crapped his pants and ran out the door of the bar !!! we laughed and laughed about it....still remember that day very well..... see, humor, i thought i was gonna die, but it was still funny !!!!!!!!
Well, i changed fonts to write that, now can't find the regular font, brother....john was here today for a computer lesson, i forgot how to scan photo's , burn discs, forgot everything and just couldn't get it...it's gone from my brain, and i don't know how to find it again another example of this damn brain injury, i'm really sick of it....glad i still know/remember you......but, soon i might forget, so if you don't hear from me for a while, call and remind me...i'm serious about this....
so, for tonight, Fuck Jim, Fuck Stan, Fuck Men, (except Winston) and of course, my friend Ray, california Ray, who loves me no matter how goofy i get/am, he faithfully calls me almost every single week, just to check on me, and say he loves me, why can't a straight man feel that way????? guess he's like a girlfriend to me ! i'll take that though, faithful, like my friends....maybe Jim died, looked at the obits tonight, he wasn't there, but maybe they haven't found his body yet...i dunno....
Good night....
Sherry
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
week 3, day 2 already !!!!
so, hi !!!
It's hump day for most, but every day seems like the same to me, after all, i'm now not earning a decent living right now, but, the weather is just to wonderful to be working. Ya know, people always say it's just beautiful outside, well, when your inside all day, what does that matter?
wasn't it wonderful to have a teacher that took the class outside and sat on the lawn for the period? or even in biology when we went on looking for leaf trips and collecting bug trips, I don't think they do that anymore, do they???????
Well, NEWS !!!! My left ankle reconstruction surgery date is now set ! It's going to be October 30 at the University of Chicago, Dr. Brian Toolen will do it, I will be in the hospital from Friday a.m. to Sunday, that's it ! and then, home with my left leg/foot elevated continuously for 6 weeks, only up to the bathroom, and to the periodic M.D. appointments, after that, 6 more weeks toe touch only, on crutches so by the spring, I will be totally ambulatory and ready for new spring shoes !!!!!! and very little limp after that, so I will no longer be the "gimp with the limp" !!!! Now, there is a "chance" slim but still a chance, that i will have the surgery on Sept 22, that would just be great, i am going to call again tomorrow and see, if that's the case, by Thanksgiving I can be up on the foot and by christmas, home free !!!! won't that be wonderful? it's something i've wanted and prayed for a long, long time.
I will keep you updated, in case you want to send flowers, chocolates, a male stripper to the hospital, anything you think you might want to put in my face !!!!lol
Went to Tar jje this afternoon, my Winston jumped out of the car, and ran right in the target door, some kids grabbed him for me, guess he wanted to shop toooo, and was promptly locked in the jail of the Rav 4. and.... I didn't buy anything impulsive in that store today, just got exactly what i went for , but i don't remember what it was, a calendar, i think...NOT
do you watch/tape the Bonnie Hunt show? she's such a stitch and i think down to earth, well, she's from chicago and was an R.N. at childrens memorial before playing bit parts and eventually a movie star. She had a 78 year old woman, Wanda, from Iowa who started writing a column for the local paper, so her kids could get to know her better, and what a hoot she is!!! and, then, bonnie had kids do a fashion show from what clothes Wanda wears or writes about, it was fabulous and such a laugh, wonder if i could do that? write a column for a paper? what do you think? just about human interest stuff, and boy do i find humans interesting....
Currently, there is a lawyer from DCFS, who's working on the pending case about the kid who died the nurses i supervised were taking care of, and he emailed me today, he wants me.......BAD too !!!! you should see his emails.....so, i've still got it !!!!!
Now, the president is on about health care reform, what do you think? i'm in healthcare and i don't understand it, I "think" he is for the everyday guy, but i don't know, i wish someone would just tell the truth, the bottom line, don't you???? I trully think, that it will come, once your old, your to be eradicated...the boomers are getting older, will cost a lot of money soon, and i think we will be the first to be out of luck, as you know, we are older than Obama and most of the up and coming politicians are younger than us, so by the time they are older, it will be changed back...think about it....Oh, Barack just said, "nothing you have now is going to change" and it will be against the law for an insurance company to limit you due to pre existing illnesses."
and a limit will be place on out of pocket expenses....is this too good to be true?????
this really "sounds" good, no on to the rest !!!!!
So, are you feeling good now??????? uplifted????? put on your yamika and smoke some marijuanica, have a gin and tonica and then...pass out !!!!! where the hell did that come from?
Tomorrow is Thursday, if you wear yellow your a queer ! Remember that? red on Monday, a whore? where did that stuff begin???? hey, lets all of us girls get together for a drink before my ankle surgery, Ida says her hubby bought her a new SUV and she is only 11 hours from Streator, let's pick a date and just party hearty !!!!!!! well, as hearty as we seniors can, i'd say one drink, that'll be it, but hey, let's get one of the suites at the Super 8, it sleeps 8, and hang out around the pool, and be safe and party !!!! wanna????????
Well, i have a book I need to finish, "Metro Girl" by Janet Evanovich, it's funny as all of her books are, so, guess I'll close for right now and read after "my" president is off, after the reporters tell us what he said, as if we don't know, how insulting? they interfere with all the programs at night, then the debate and another recap...sick of this shit....i want to hear it from the horses mouth....
So, Say good night, senior wenchez...... good night, Winston
It's hump day for most, but every day seems like the same to me, after all, i'm now not earning a decent living right now, but, the weather is just to wonderful to be working. Ya know, people always say it's just beautiful outside, well, when your inside all day, what does that matter?
wasn't it wonderful to have a teacher that took the class outside and sat on the lawn for the period? or even in biology when we went on looking for leaf trips and collecting bug trips, I don't think they do that anymore, do they???????
Well, NEWS !!!! My left ankle reconstruction surgery date is now set ! It's going to be October 30 at the University of Chicago, Dr. Brian Toolen will do it, I will be in the hospital from Friday a.m. to Sunday, that's it ! and then, home with my left leg/foot elevated continuously for 6 weeks, only up to the bathroom, and to the periodic M.D. appointments, after that, 6 more weeks toe touch only, on crutches so by the spring, I will be totally ambulatory and ready for new spring shoes !!!!!! and very little limp after that, so I will no longer be the "gimp with the limp" !!!! Now, there is a "chance" slim but still a chance, that i will have the surgery on Sept 22, that would just be great, i am going to call again tomorrow and see, if that's the case, by Thanksgiving I can be up on the foot and by christmas, home free !!!! won't that be wonderful? it's something i've wanted and prayed for a long, long time.
I will keep you updated, in case you want to send flowers, chocolates, a male stripper to the hospital, anything you think you might want to put in my face !!!!lol
Went to Tar jje this afternoon, my Winston jumped out of the car, and ran right in the target door, some kids grabbed him for me, guess he wanted to shop toooo, and was promptly locked in the jail of the Rav 4. and.... I didn't buy anything impulsive in that store today, just got exactly what i went for , but i don't remember what it was, a calendar, i think...NOT
do you watch/tape the Bonnie Hunt show? she's such a stitch and i think down to earth, well, she's from chicago and was an R.N. at childrens memorial before playing bit parts and eventually a movie star. She had a 78 year old woman, Wanda, from Iowa who started writing a column for the local paper, so her kids could get to know her better, and what a hoot she is!!! and, then, bonnie had kids do a fashion show from what clothes Wanda wears or writes about, it was fabulous and such a laugh, wonder if i could do that? write a column for a paper? what do you think? just about human interest stuff, and boy do i find humans interesting....
Currently, there is a lawyer from DCFS, who's working on the pending case about the kid who died the nurses i supervised were taking care of, and he emailed me today, he wants me.......BAD too !!!! you should see his emails.....so, i've still got it !!!!!
Now, the president is on about health care reform, what do you think? i'm in healthcare and i don't understand it, I "think" he is for the everyday guy, but i don't know, i wish someone would just tell the truth, the bottom line, don't you???? I trully think, that it will come, once your old, your to be eradicated...the boomers are getting older, will cost a lot of money soon, and i think we will be the first to be out of luck, as you know, we are older than Obama and most of the up and coming politicians are younger than us, so by the time they are older, it will be changed back...think about it....Oh, Barack just said, "nothing you have now is going to change" and it will be against the law for an insurance company to limit you due to pre existing illnesses."
and a limit will be place on out of pocket expenses....is this too good to be true?????
this really "sounds" good, no on to the rest !!!!!
So, are you feeling good now??????? uplifted????? put on your yamika and smoke some marijuanica, have a gin and tonica and then...pass out !!!!! where the hell did that come from?
Tomorrow is Thursday, if you wear yellow your a queer ! Remember that? red on Monday, a whore? where did that stuff begin???? hey, lets all of us girls get together for a drink before my ankle surgery, Ida says her hubby bought her a new SUV and she is only 11 hours from Streator, let's pick a date and just party hearty !!!!!!! well, as hearty as we seniors can, i'd say one drink, that'll be it, but hey, let's get one of the suites at the Super 8, it sleeps 8, and hang out around the pool, and be safe and party !!!! wanna????????
Well, i have a book I need to finish, "Metro Girl" by Janet Evanovich, it's funny as all of her books are, so, guess I'll close for right now and read after "my" president is off, after the reporters tell us what he said, as if we don't know, how insulting? they interfere with all the programs at night, then the debate and another recap...sick of this shit....i want to hear it from the horses mouth....
So, Say good night, senior wenchez...... good night, Winston
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Week 3, Day 1
Hi from Mokena, another beautiful day, warm and breezy, picture perfect, don't you think????
Went to the dentist first thing this a.m., to get 4, yes 4 root canals, all areas are so inflamed, after numerous injections of novocaine, dentist still couldn't work, so he applied more oil of cloves to all areas and refilled the entire place, now, next week he will try one more time and if not successful will send me to an endodontist, but i want him to finish, cuz I like him....boy, dental work, i should just get dentures, but, am so scared I couldn't wear them !!!
then i got home, felt sort of sick, laid down for an hour, but, then it was such a lovely day, i couldn't really waste it in bed. Gave Winston a bath, and we played and played afterward, he's sound asleep as I write this now....
So, I'm beginning to settle down, things are in an upheaval in my life, but I can't change what I can't change... spoke to Stan today, seriously, without any tears, and in the last 24 hours, I began to "think", I got a new knee 3 years ago in preparation to have my left ankle fixed, rebuilt or replaced, i have seen Dr. Toolen a few times, and feel confident with him, and there is no sense, since I 'm not working now to wait....i'm just getting older and actually, "I wan't to dance !" sooooooo, I am going to see the doctors i need to see, the dermatologist, Dr. Malm, internal medicine, get my labs done that i still need, and then see Dr. Toolen again next week and schedule the surgery for the end of October. He says, "you must listen to me, follow my directions and will not be up for six full weeks", if I do spend anytime up, the swelling will be unbearable, so, have made my mind up, it will be the bed, to the potty, and up in a wheel chair with my left leg elevated for six full weeks, then for the next six, I will be weight bearing with crutches or a walker, and then therapy....so, by the first of the year, 2010, i will be finished and again eventually by warm weather, be able to wear normal shoes again....
and, in the meantime, till I have the surgery, I am beginning to pack all non essentials, into boxes to keep, boxes to store and boxes to put on freecycle for pick up by people who want the stuff. I a really going to pare down things, what Justine doesn't want, I will pitch, if she wants it I will store it, for a while, ask her to pay part of the storage, I am going to get my life back to the simple state. I want to move, get settled and travel to see some old friends that i have invitations to visit, they are scattered all around the USA and I want to spend some time seeing them, re acquaiting myself with them, cuz by this age, we are really good, and that's what it's all about, spending time with friends and family.. I'm not ever going to be rich monetarily, but, boy I am rich in life, wonderful daughter, son in law, grandboys and then....there is you, all my good, good, wonderful friends.
In the past two weeks, I've went through highs and lows, laughter and tears, and now, I'm just peaceful, with the realization that nothing is in my control, none of the extraneous stuff, the garbage, it's just all out there, refuse.....all i can contol is myself and my itty bitty perimeter. and i want to be at peace for the rest of the ride.
While I'm in Mokena, and recovering, I would like everyone who would like to visit me, then, when I have my own place, the door is always going to be open and the phone is going to be right near me, so you will forever be welcome. Entry fee is chocolate, I don't care what kind of chocolate, just chocolate !!!!!!! cuz, it does a body good !!!!!
As to Jim, haven't heard from him, oh, since last Thursday, I think, i will look in the obits tonight before i go to bed and see if he's there, lol, for all i know, he might be, his life is in the toilet and I'm not going to be the flusher, he has to just do it....just get over it or under it, as my friend, Judy always says.... I can't save him, can't even try to save another person out there, just have to take care of myself and Winston, that's all i have control over..
So, guess i'm still deep in thought, but the thoughts are at least good, wonder why sometime, things are funny to me, but most of the time, you are the only ones who even get my sense of humor, it's kind of sick isn't it???? but, who says what sick is? who's to judge is something is sick, if it's sick for one, it might be normal for another, that's what I think....I actually think he world is sick, and we have to be sick to exist in this world !!!! what do you think?????
well, it's that time of night again, I'm going to Streator tomorrow to visit and spend time with my friend, Jan, who I haven't seen for over 2 years, its time to reconnect with her toooo, to make a plan. and i'll try to look in on Kathy, meet Jim's son, Jimmie and what else, I don't know...maybe then I'll fly to the moon for the night, and smile at you while your looking up, that'll be me waving at you out there....
Winstons Mom
Went to the dentist first thing this a.m., to get 4, yes 4 root canals, all areas are so inflamed, after numerous injections of novocaine, dentist still couldn't work, so he applied more oil of cloves to all areas and refilled the entire place, now, next week he will try one more time and if not successful will send me to an endodontist, but i want him to finish, cuz I like him....boy, dental work, i should just get dentures, but, am so scared I couldn't wear them !!!
then i got home, felt sort of sick, laid down for an hour, but, then it was such a lovely day, i couldn't really waste it in bed. Gave Winston a bath, and we played and played afterward, he's sound asleep as I write this now....
So, I'm beginning to settle down, things are in an upheaval in my life, but I can't change what I can't change... spoke to Stan today, seriously, without any tears, and in the last 24 hours, I began to "think", I got a new knee 3 years ago in preparation to have my left ankle fixed, rebuilt or replaced, i have seen Dr. Toolen a few times, and feel confident with him, and there is no sense, since I 'm not working now to wait....i'm just getting older and actually, "I wan't to dance !" sooooooo, I am going to see the doctors i need to see, the dermatologist, Dr. Malm, internal medicine, get my labs done that i still need, and then see Dr. Toolen again next week and schedule the surgery for the end of October. He says, "you must listen to me, follow my directions and will not be up for six full weeks", if I do spend anytime up, the swelling will be unbearable, so, have made my mind up, it will be the bed, to the potty, and up in a wheel chair with my left leg elevated for six full weeks, then for the next six, I will be weight bearing with crutches or a walker, and then therapy....so, by the first of the year, 2010, i will be finished and again eventually by warm weather, be able to wear normal shoes again....
and, in the meantime, till I have the surgery, I am beginning to pack all non essentials, into boxes to keep, boxes to store and boxes to put on freecycle for pick up by people who want the stuff. I a really going to pare down things, what Justine doesn't want, I will pitch, if she wants it I will store it, for a while, ask her to pay part of the storage, I am going to get my life back to the simple state. I want to move, get settled and travel to see some old friends that i have invitations to visit, they are scattered all around the USA and I want to spend some time seeing them, re acquaiting myself with them, cuz by this age, we are really good, and that's what it's all about, spending time with friends and family.. I'm not ever going to be rich monetarily, but, boy I am rich in life, wonderful daughter, son in law, grandboys and then....there is you, all my good, good, wonderful friends.
In the past two weeks, I've went through highs and lows, laughter and tears, and now, I'm just peaceful, with the realization that nothing is in my control, none of the extraneous stuff, the garbage, it's just all out there, refuse.....all i can contol is myself and my itty bitty perimeter. and i want to be at peace for the rest of the ride.
While I'm in Mokena, and recovering, I would like everyone who would like to visit me, then, when I have my own place, the door is always going to be open and the phone is going to be right near me, so you will forever be welcome. Entry fee is chocolate, I don't care what kind of chocolate, just chocolate !!!!!!! cuz, it does a body good !!!!!
As to Jim, haven't heard from him, oh, since last Thursday, I think, i will look in the obits tonight before i go to bed and see if he's there, lol, for all i know, he might be, his life is in the toilet and I'm not going to be the flusher, he has to just do it....just get over it or under it, as my friend, Judy always says.... I can't save him, can't even try to save another person out there, just have to take care of myself and Winston, that's all i have control over..
So, guess i'm still deep in thought, but the thoughts are at least good, wonder why sometime, things are funny to me, but most of the time, you are the only ones who even get my sense of humor, it's kind of sick isn't it???? but, who says what sick is? who's to judge is something is sick, if it's sick for one, it might be normal for another, that's what I think....I actually think he world is sick, and we have to be sick to exist in this world !!!! what do you think?????
well, it's that time of night again, I'm going to Streator tomorrow to visit and spend time with my friend, Jan, who I haven't seen for over 2 years, its time to reconnect with her toooo, to make a plan. and i'll try to look in on Kathy, meet Jim's son, Jimmie and what else, I don't know...maybe then I'll fly to the moon for the night, and smile at you while your looking up, that'll be me waving at you out there....
Winstons Mom
Monday, September 7, 2009
Week 2, Day 6
Labor Day is over, it was a beautiful week end, best days in a row we've had this summer, lots of festivals, parades, friends, food and more. I spent Friday afternoon with my good, wonderful, long time friend and her baby Cortney,(29) and her babies, Luke, who was a patient at Hope Hospital, and Lainey, his twin sister, at the Ronald McDonald house, her hubby Cody arrived and her long time friend, since grade school, Jessie, and we had a lovely, wonderful day that was blessed with the happy ending that Luke went home today, after a week of serious, cardiac surgery, he's 3 months old and before you know it he'll be on a football field, driving a car, and then off to college. I just can't say how totally wonderful, happy the McDonald house is, amazing, and I'm full of warm, fuzzy feelings from being with all of them, and Judy, she is a wonderful gramma, so giving, so full of love it oozes from her being, its easy to see, that her life is full, she lives on a body of water and her soul is with God, as are the kids, cort and cody.
Saturday was an uneventful day, we had a supper of steak, baked potatoes and then for dessert we made a trip to The Creamery, mmmm, wonderful ! Sunday, my baby, Justine and I went to see the movie, Adam, about a man with Aspergers, informative, warm, funny, wistful, I give it 5 *'s, but, you'll have to rent it because it won't be out in the rural areas, but we learned so much from watching it, I ordered two books that were used in the movies to learn how to help, guide and love Christopher even more than I already do, if that's possible.....???
Today, Sunday, I went to Oak Park and met my friend, Darrelle and we went to see the movie, "Extract", Jason Bateman, Ben Afleck, a good, funny movie with no lessons learned, just entertaining, and I give it 4*s.....and also recommend this film tooooo.... so, all in all, with friends and Justine it was a good, good week end.
Now, we come to Stan, and that is another story, I fear something is really going on inside of that man's head, heart, at this time, he is out of the box, that's all I can say. The relationship has come to an end, and actually, I am relieved, he hasn't passed the 7 year mark with a woman and it won't be any different for me, so, the meter has run out of coins.. I am trying to decide where I'm going to live, a large part of me would like to end up in Oak Park, IL, a lovely, very ecclectic city nearest Chicago, still has a very vibrant downtown, bookstores, restaurants, a wonderful movie theatre that all residents can walk to, you see kids in groups going downtown, riding skateboards, a lovely city park that is still safe to spend time in, there is no loitering of scumbums in this town, no homeless people, "taverns" don't exist, its just nice, with Metra and the Green Line going right along the main street(Lake St), it's still affordable with a lot of subsidized housing for senior people, which I am at this time....
then, there is Ottawa, and it's there I want to be for a different reason, the boys, Christopher and Ryan and of course, wonderful Justine, and then there is the proximity to my friends, and that is such a big draw, but....No work !!!! now, I have applied for social security disability, but that could take 6 months to hear and I do think that I will be approved due to the fact I just can't explain, teach, perform the care what I used to do for patients and couldn't work as a nurse any longer, and it's been a good career, I've met some wonderful people and have a large network of friends, but...how much longer would I have done it anyway???? I never wanted to be an Old, Crochity nurse anyway, I remember them well, oh, Lucille Lenhausen, so I feel it's time to hang that up anyway...but, can I survive on just that? that is where my idea for a change in careers came from, and it's still helping people, being with people but not in nursing capacity but would give me "extra" money for vacations and the concerts I still love to go tooooo, such as the stones, the eagles, steeley dan, cute Michael McDonald to name just a "few."
I can always GO to Oakpark to see my friend, and spend the day or a few nights with her, and she could come to the country and see me, what shall I do??
Tomorrow, after yet another dentist appointment, I am going to Ottaw to look at some apartments and duplexes and just begin scoping it out, go to the store and tell my favorite manager to start keeping boxes for me, and I will begin to pack one more time, in a very organized way, cause I hate asking my son in law to move me one more time, I am really going to slim things down this time, will have what I am moving down to the bearest minimum.
Now, you ask, what part will Jim play in this? Well, Jim has way too many issues for me to deal with, I will be his friend, and maybe at some time we can be together, but this move is about me, only for me, only by myself with Winston and Binky and Furbie, and I will begin a journey of my own, being the best I can be, and with the help, support of my friends, I am really going to find myself and be my very own best friend. It's time for me, I've given all I can to men, and now realize just how co dependent I have been for a long time, and I'm going to laugh more!!!!
Tomorrow, the sense of humor will return, I've been very teary since Friday, that day, because I realized how much love there is all around me, if I only open my eyes and heart to it...There were people that were really "glad" to see me on Friday, Sunday and today, and I "need" to concentrate on them, rejoice they are in my life, and move ahead.
So, from "Strawberry Fields", it's good night, good luck and keep on doing what ever it is your doing, cuz I know its right !!!!!!!!!!
Winstons mom ..... and he's happy tonight, cuz I have a new room of my own and he's sleeping for the first night on the foot of the bed......so, see, a hairy male does want to sleep with me and he doesn't have bad breath or snore.....
Good night or Good morning, think about me tomorrow and smile !!!!
I'm Sherry
Saturday was an uneventful day, we had a supper of steak, baked potatoes and then for dessert we made a trip to The Creamery, mmmm, wonderful ! Sunday, my baby, Justine and I went to see the movie, Adam, about a man with Aspergers, informative, warm, funny, wistful, I give it 5 *'s, but, you'll have to rent it because it won't be out in the rural areas, but we learned so much from watching it, I ordered two books that were used in the movies to learn how to help, guide and love Christopher even more than I already do, if that's possible.....???
Today, Sunday, I went to Oak Park and met my friend, Darrelle and we went to see the movie, "Extract", Jason Bateman, Ben Afleck, a good, funny movie with no lessons learned, just entertaining, and I give it 4*s.....and also recommend this film tooooo.... so, all in all, with friends and Justine it was a good, good week end.
Now, we come to Stan, and that is another story, I fear something is really going on inside of that man's head, heart, at this time, he is out of the box, that's all I can say. The relationship has come to an end, and actually, I am relieved, he hasn't passed the 7 year mark with a woman and it won't be any different for me, so, the meter has run out of coins.. I am trying to decide where I'm going to live, a large part of me would like to end up in Oak Park, IL, a lovely, very ecclectic city nearest Chicago, still has a very vibrant downtown, bookstores, restaurants, a wonderful movie theatre that all residents can walk to, you see kids in groups going downtown, riding skateboards, a lovely city park that is still safe to spend time in, there is no loitering of scumbums in this town, no homeless people, "taverns" don't exist, its just nice, with Metra and the Green Line going right along the main street(Lake St), it's still affordable with a lot of subsidized housing for senior people, which I am at this time....
then, there is Ottawa, and it's there I want to be for a different reason, the boys, Christopher and Ryan and of course, wonderful Justine, and then there is the proximity to my friends, and that is such a big draw, but....No work !!!! now, I have applied for social security disability, but that could take 6 months to hear and I do think that I will be approved due to the fact I just can't explain, teach, perform the care what I used to do for patients and couldn't work as a nurse any longer, and it's been a good career, I've met some wonderful people and have a large network of friends, but...how much longer would I have done it anyway???? I never wanted to be an Old, Crochity nurse anyway, I remember them well, oh, Lucille Lenhausen, so I feel it's time to hang that up anyway...but, can I survive on just that? that is where my idea for a change in careers came from, and it's still helping people, being with people but not in nursing capacity but would give me "extra" money for vacations and the concerts I still love to go tooooo, such as the stones, the eagles, steeley dan, cute Michael McDonald to name just a "few."
I can always GO to Oakpark to see my friend, and spend the day or a few nights with her, and she could come to the country and see me, what shall I do??
Tomorrow, after yet another dentist appointment, I am going to Ottaw to look at some apartments and duplexes and just begin scoping it out, go to the store and tell my favorite manager to start keeping boxes for me, and I will begin to pack one more time, in a very organized way, cause I hate asking my son in law to move me one more time, I am really going to slim things down this time, will have what I am moving down to the bearest minimum.
Now, you ask, what part will Jim play in this? Well, Jim has way too many issues for me to deal with, I will be his friend, and maybe at some time we can be together, but this move is about me, only for me, only by myself with Winston and Binky and Furbie, and I will begin a journey of my own, being the best I can be, and with the help, support of my friends, I am really going to find myself and be my very own best friend. It's time for me, I've given all I can to men, and now realize just how co dependent I have been for a long time, and I'm going to laugh more!!!!
Tomorrow, the sense of humor will return, I've been very teary since Friday, that day, because I realized how much love there is all around me, if I only open my eyes and heart to it...There were people that were really "glad" to see me on Friday, Sunday and today, and I "need" to concentrate on them, rejoice they are in my life, and move ahead.
So, from "Strawberry Fields", it's good night, good luck and keep on doing what ever it is your doing, cuz I know its right !!!!!!!!!!
Winstons mom ..... and he's happy tonight, cuz I have a new room of my own and he's sleeping for the first night on the foot of the bed......so, see, a hairy male does want to sleep with me and he doesn't have bad breath or snore.....
Good night or Good morning, think about me tomorrow and smile !!!!
I'm Sherry
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