Week 3, Day 1

Hi from Mokena, another beautiful day, warm and breezy, picture perfect, don't you think????

Went to the dentist first thing this a.m., to get 4, yes 4 root canals, all areas are so inflamed, after numerous injections of novocaine, dentist still couldn't work, so he applied more oil of cloves to all areas and refilled the entire place, now, next week he will try one more time and if not successful will send me to an endodontist, but i want him to finish, cuz I like him....boy, dental work, i should just get dentures, but, am so scared I couldn't wear them !!!

then i got home, felt sort of sick, laid down for an hour, but, then it was such a lovely day, i couldn't really waste it in bed. Gave Winston a bath, and we played and played afterward, he's sound asleep as I write this now....

So, I'm beginning to settle down, things are in an upheaval in my life, but I can't change what I can't change... spoke to Stan today, seriously, without any tears, and in the last 24 hours, I began to "think", I got a new knee 3 years ago in preparation to have my left ankle fixed, rebuilt or replaced, i have seen Dr. Toolen a few times, and feel confident with him, and there is no sense, since I 'm not working now to wait....i'm just getting older and actually, "I wan't to dance !" sooooooo, I am going to see the doctors i need to see, the dermatologist, Dr. Malm, internal medicine, get my labs done that i still need, and then see Dr. Toolen again next week and schedule the surgery for the end of October. He says, "you must listen to me, follow my directions and will not be up for six full weeks", if I do spend anytime up, the swelling will be unbearable, so, have made my mind up, it will be the bed, to the potty, and up in a wheel chair with my left leg elevated for six full weeks, then for the next six, I will be weight bearing with crutches or a walker, and then therapy....so, by the first of the year, 2010, i will be finished and again eventually by warm weather, be able to wear normal shoes again....
and, in the meantime, till I have the surgery, I am beginning to pack all non essentials, into boxes to keep, boxes to store and boxes to put on freecycle for pick up by people who want the stuff. I a really going to pare down things, what Justine doesn't want, I will pitch, if she wants it I will store it, for a while, ask her to pay part of the storage, I am going to get my life back to the simple state. I want to move, get settled and travel to see some old friends that i have invitations to visit, they are scattered all around the USA and I want to spend some time seeing them, re acquaiting myself with them, cuz by this age, we are really good, and that's what it's all about, spending time with friends and family.. I'm not ever going to be rich monetarily, but, boy I am rich in life, wonderful daughter, son in law, grandboys and then....there is you, all my good, good, wonderful friends.
In the past two weeks, I've went through highs and lows, laughter and tears, and now, I'm just peaceful, with the realization that nothing is in my control, none of the extraneous stuff, the garbage, it's just all out there, refuse.....all i can contol is myself and my itty bitty perimeter. and i want to be at peace for the rest of the ride.

While I'm in Mokena, and recovering, I would like everyone who would like to visit me, then, when I have my own place, the door is always going to be open and the phone is going to be right near me, so you will forever be welcome. Entry fee is chocolate, I don't care what kind of chocolate, just chocolate !!!!!!! cuz, it does a body good !!!!!

As to Jim, haven't heard from him, oh, since last Thursday, I think, i will look in the obits tonight before i go to bed and see if he's there, lol, for all i know, he might be, his life is in the toilet and I'm not going to be the flusher, he has to just do it....just get over it or under it, as my friend, Judy always says.... I can't save him, can't even try to save another person out there, just have to take care of myself and Winston, that's all i have control over..

So, guess i'm still deep in thought, but the thoughts are at least good, wonder why sometime, things are funny to me, but most of the time, you are the only ones who even get my sense of humor, it's kind of sick isn't it???? but, who says what sick is? who's to judge is something is sick, if it's sick for one, it might be normal for another, that's what I think....I actually think he world is sick, and we have to be sick to exist in this world !!!! what do you think?????

well, it's that time of night again, I'm going to Streator tomorrow to visit and spend time with my friend, Jan, who I haven't seen for over 2 years, its time to reconnect with her toooo, to make a plan. and i'll try to look in on Kathy, meet Jim's son, Jimmie and what else, I don't know...maybe then I'll fly to the moon for the night, and smile at you while your looking up, that'll be me waving at you out there....

Winstons Mom