so, hi, again, i'm back !!!!
last night i had a dream, i was in a wedding, i don't know who's it was, but the other bridsmaids wouldn't let me near the mirror to put my make up on, and the bride said i couldn't wear two pair of earrings, i have double pierced ears, so i had to take one pair off, and this a.m., when i woke up, i had taken one pair of earrings off and put them on the night stand...really weird, and the whole wedding party, including a former account manager was on a float....brother, and i didn't even eat late last night...
so, today, i met Jim, and we went and sat and shared soup and talked, really talked earnestly....he knows he's in an unhealthy place for himself, knows it's best if he leaves it, his health will improve, stress does unhealthy things to people and he has myasthenia gravis, an autoimmune disease of the nervous system the stress reaks havoc with, and he and i know we are blessed to happen upon one another at this time in our lives...but he needs baby steps, and you know me, i'm spontaneous, go great balls afire at everything...it usually works out, but this time, i have to let it be if it's gonna be..and that is very hard for me, but, he wants me......you know what i mean.....and i won't, will not, until he makes a firm decision. now, i'm not talkin marriage here,i will never marry again, not ever, i will die as Sherry Mascal, but, hey i can always play house and i do good at that...so, for once, i will just be hard ( impossible) to get until it's my way and i told him, "my way or the high way", I learned my lesson well, finally.....
So, next week, I'm going to florida, either alone and flying or with Jim, and we'll drive, he has until saturday to decide....but no sex on the way.....or there, not at all....so, i'll keep you informed and i'm okay with it, either way.
Saturday night is cruise night in streator, golly, all those people, just to do what we did every single night...memories.....
winston has learned a lot of new words, he's sooo smart...he makes different noises for different things, and we understand him, i just love this guy!!!
my brain is getting better, every day, it gets better, but i get older too, so i forget what i knew yesterday.....do you forget much??? what do you do?? now, i know, my friend, Marcia, was ready for this, cuz she's written notes since we were 20.....oh, her birthday is the 26th i think, gotta remember that, and you can all wish her a happy birthday, don't let her know though, cuz she might forget, she's gonna be (60) this year.....sshhhh
but, i write notes,then i can't find them....or i forget the shopping list, it's always on the counter...
did you get gas before the holiday week end? i know the bastards will raise the price just for us to go to walmart and stuff....well, i won't buy gas till tuesday now..and did you hear, they are shutting chicago down for Oprah???? the nerve of them...they don't even close for barack !!!!
and i wanted so badly to shop at crate and barrel or nieman marcus !!!! NOT !!!!!
michigan ave will be closed for her 24th season premiere show...big deal !!!!!!
have you seen Julie/Julia, oh, it's a great,great movie, we laughed and laughed, meryl streep at her very, very best...even if you don't like to cook, it's about much more than cooking, you get to know julia's life....and she was a natural hoot !!!! see it, i highly recommend it and give it ****** (6) stars !!!!
well, i had an exceptionally boring night tonight, reruns....all reruns of reruns....
i'm going to a high school football game tomorrow night and see Lauren(stans 12 year old) play trombone at her first game with the high school band, to introduce the kids to the funner kids....so, that will be fun, maybe....but the popcorn will be good, and i'll sneak a flask in of kuhlua/cream.....
i decided, since Jim took a dump on me, last week, to post on match.com got some interesting conversations going on, but that's all, gotta stay in the game....have some dinners, movies, fun times, don't ever let them get you down i say !!! now jim is back, but with some competition.....ooh lala....
what else??? not much for tonight i fear.....and what do you fear??? are you afraid of being alone????? tell me your fears, i will soothe your weary mind....i have powers.....many powers.....
i'm a good listener !!! so, talk to me, keep your cards and letters coming and i'll get to all of them....
so, good night, winston is in his box already sooooo it's just me
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Week 2, Day 1
one dayoff blogging, sorry, but it's very late, and i just watched a movie that i will blog about tomorrow, but I have to think on it, it was very deep, very complex, Phillip Seymour Hoffman,in Synecdoche, New York, very very emotional about a very lonely man who was just brilliant....
well, i'll double up the writing tomorrow then......
Winston is still the boss here, though!!!
well, i'll double up the writing tomorrow then......
Winston is still the boss here, though!!!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Day 7
hi there, Tuesday night, not feeling very funny tonight either, had 4 (yes four) teeth filled today, seems the left side of my mouth has went to the dogs, the dentist even asked if I've started to suck on hard candy when i go to bed, no, i havent....i guess i'm just falling aprart at my young age, dratt !!!!
Now, some of you know and understand my professional dilemna, others, I've not even gone into that story at all, if you "wish" and if you email me, and those I send this to know how, but this isn't for the public, i will tell you the story, but, it involves my year as a supervisor at Maxim, which at the time, had a great boss and a great co supervisor, I thought, though they have never called me nor answered any of my letters, but I am going thru a bad time now with DCFS and IDPR, have asked both for continuances due to my medical condition, my diagnosis of "expressive aphasia" and cognitive disorder and they haven't answered me yet, but also, the doc said i should be on social security disability now, so this will impact my money...greatly, but i've applied for it, sent the application in today, expect to have to go to a doctor they pick and a few hearings, but if you've talked me to, you understand, i'm not dumb, don't have dementia, (yet) but anytime i'm under stress or pressure, i then speak jibbersh, and it sucks !!!
and, another happening !!!! today, when i turned on the cell phone, there was a message from none other than Jim, asking if i was going to home today, this was left at 6:45 p.m. last night , i don't have the cell on when i'm home ever... and lo and behold, he called again today, just to say he'd like to talk to me at 10 a.m tomorrow, that I didn't do anything wrong, that he is screwed up but wants to talk, i said, " I don't believe you", but, i did say it was okay to call me tomorrow, but actually i want to see him face to face, eyeball to eyeball, cuz I would like an explanation. but, today, he got the letter from me, hadn't opened it yet, but i also said one to his main squeeze and told them both that they are retarded, and said, fuck you, Jim Rinaldi.....
quite clearly, so maybe once he reads what I had to say, he won't call, and know what, I "think" i want him to call, but if he doesn't , it was not meant to be, ce la vi !!!
so, i'm asking....your opinion please????
tonight i'm watching a Chinese film, "Man, Woman, Love, Eat" it has english subtitles and is kind of a soap opera about a man who is a chef, he's widowed with 3 grown daughters, sort of interesting, it's in modern tie, so computers, one daughter is even an airline executive, and there is even sex in the movie, and.....the women don't have sideways vagina's like i've always been taught !!!!
well, the pressure is on now, I'm kind of funny naturally, i can think of a lot of humorous things, but i can't be funny at times i'm thinking about being funny, but life is funny, isn't it? we get ourselves in such situations, some embarrassing, some sad, some shameful, but actually, i see humor in all of it, if a person doesn't laugh a lot, then they will surely cry, now, crying is what i do easiest...my dad use to say "sherry, your bladder is to close to your eyes". now i know what he meant, is your there tooo???
so, friday night is the ice breaker for the class of 69, i want to go cuz i know a lot of people, and Saturday night is the annual "cruise night" in streator, we didnt' call it cruise back in the day, we called it "toolin downtown" remember that word? Toolin? and we all knew exactly what it meant, now they think it s a big deal to drive those old cars around, bench seats, (good to sit next to your guy) big steering wheels, bigger back seats, we could get "all" of our friends in the car, and even went with a load to the drive in movies, and the band before the movie??? the Tempo's or The Techniques, the same guys that played at Norris hall and then eventually the Grove, and How about that grove???? fun fun, booze, lots of booze and sex, it was a great pick up place for us girls as well as the guys !!!!
see, my mind does wander , doesn't it????? but, we who grew up in the 60's had not clue of what being a young woman istoday, we only knew about getting married, having babies, being secretaries, our role model was "that girl" or june and ward cleaver, or the andersons on Father knows best.....today i would tell young girls go to any big city, get a job, an apartment, a roomate, (a gay guy friend is the best) make money and save it, go on vacations, or apply to work for a year or so on a cruise line, they could meet young people from all over the world to visit later, thats what I would do if I were young again...
well, i guess tomorrow will bring yet another chapter to my life...will he call, won't he? will i accept his excuse, won't I? at least my tooth isn't hurting any longer, guess you've heard enough about that, right????
My grandson, Christopher, has started school again for the year, hope it's as good a year as last was, he got an award for reading more library books than any other kid and "all" A's on his report card, all year, he's sooo smart, and we're proud of him, Ryan's only job this year is stay as cute as he is and learn more new things...What fun they are !!!!
Well, good night, it's time to check my email and attempt to look at facebook one more time....
Till tomorrow night,
I'm still
Winston's mom !!!!!!!!
Now, some of you know and understand my professional dilemna, others, I've not even gone into that story at all, if you "wish" and if you email me, and those I send this to know how, but this isn't for the public, i will tell you the story, but, it involves my year as a supervisor at Maxim, which at the time, had a great boss and a great co supervisor, I thought, though they have never called me nor answered any of my letters, but I am going thru a bad time now with DCFS and IDPR, have asked both for continuances due to my medical condition, my diagnosis of "expressive aphasia" and cognitive disorder and they haven't answered me yet, but also, the doc said i should be on social security disability now, so this will impact my money...greatly, but i've applied for it, sent the application in today, expect to have to go to a doctor they pick and a few hearings, but if you've talked me to, you understand, i'm not dumb, don't have dementia, (yet) but anytime i'm under stress or pressure, i then speak jibbersh, and it sucks !!!
and, another happening !!!! today, when i turned on the cell phone, there was a message from none other than Jim, asking if i was going to home today, this was left at 6:45 p.m. last night , i don't have the cell on when i'm home ever... and lo and behold, he called again today, just to say he'd like to talk to me at 10 a.m tomorrow, that I didn't do anything wrong, that he is screwed up but wants to talk, i said, " I don't believe you", but, i did say it was okay to call me tomorrow, but actually i want to see him face to face, eyeball to eyeball, cuz I would like an explanation. but, today, he got the letter from me, hadn't opened it yet, but i also said one to his main squeeze and told them both that they are retarded, and said, fuck you, Jim Rinaldi.....
quite clearly, so maybe once he reads what I had to say, he won't call, and know what, I "think" i want him to call, but if he doesn't , it was not meant to be, ce la vi !!!
so, i'm asking....your opinion please????
tonight i'm watching a Chinese film, "Man, Woman, Love, Eat" it has english subtitles and is kind of a soap opera about a man who is a chef, he's widowed with 3 grown daughters, sort of interesting, it's in modern tie, so computers, one daughter is even an airline executive, and there is even sex in the movie, and.....the women don't have sideways vagina's like i've always been taught !!!!
well, the pressure is on now, I'm kind of funny naturally, i can think of a lot of humorous things, but i can't be funny at times i'm thinking about being funny, but life is funny, isn't it? we get ourselves in such situations, some embarrassing, some sad, some shameful, but actually, i see humor in all of it, if a person doesn't laugh a lot, then they will surely cry, now, crying is what i do easiest...my dad use to say "sherry, your bladder is to close to your eyes". now i know what he meant, is your there tooo???
so, friday night is the ice breaker for the class of 69, i want to go cuz i know a lot of people, and Saturday night is the annual "cruise night" in streator, we didnt' call it cruise back in the day, we called it "toolin downtown" remember that word? Toolin? and we all knew exactly what it meant, now they think it s a big deal to drive those old cars around, bench seats, (good to sit next to your guy) big steering wheels, bigger back seats, we could get "all" of our friends in the car, and even went with a load to the drive in movies, and the band before the movie??? the Tempo's or The Techniques, the same guys that played at Norris hall and then eventually the Grove, and How about that grove???? fun fun, booze, lots of booze and sex, it was a great pick up place for us girls as well as the guys !!!!
see, my mind does wander , doesn't it????? but, we who grew up in the 60's had not clue of what being a young woman istoday, we only knew about getting married, having babies, being secretaries, our role model was "that girl" or june and ward cleaver, or the andersons on Father knows best.....today i would tell young girls go to any big city, get a job, an apartment, a roomate, (a gay guy friend is the best) make money and save it, go on vacations, or apply to work for a year or so on a cruise line, they could meet young people from all over the world to visit later, thats what I would do if I were young again...
well, i guess tomorrow will bring yet another chapter to my life...will he call, won't he? will i accept his excuse, won't I? at least my tooth isn't hurting any longer, guess you've heard enough about that, right????
My grandson, Christopher, has started school again for the year, hope it's as good a year as last was, he got an award for reading more library books than any other kid and "all" A's on his report card, all year, he's sooo smart, and we're proud of him, Ryan's only job this year is stay as cute as he is and learn more new things...What fun they are !!!!
Well, good night, it's time to check my email and attempt to look at facebook one more time....
Till tomorrow night,
I'm still
Winston's mom !!!!!!!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Day 6
Golly, it's going to be a week tomorrow since I started blogging, what a difference a week makes !!!! My tooth !!!! it's still throbbing, it's back to the dentist for me in the morning, he didnt get the right tooth, or the right place and i'm going out of my mind, it's making happy me into a crab ass,everything is banging, y jaw, my head, my body, even winston is staying away from me now.
well, i just got back from taking another pain pill, did the beginnings of supper, we're having stuffed peppers tonight, easy to chew and digest. My day was unevenful, mailed social security my stuff, so, it's settled, i have applied, not ready for the easy chair yet, but getting ready, gosh, i don't like the feeling of this anymore than i liked the arrival of the AARP card, but guess i'll get use to it, sure use the aarp card for lots of useful stuff, ie the movies, starbucks, dairy queer, mcdonalds, amazon.com and barnes and noble, not to mention all the nights i book myself for all the vast masses of young studs i take to the notel motels.....lol. yes, i've even done that lately, posted on match.com for/and in "headlines" wanted a "mature" man, not relationship phobic, who wants a no strings attached friendship to date, fix my plumbing, ( the real plumbing) not the personal...and know what I get !!!!!! notes from 30 year olds saying they are "attracted" to mature women, now, look, if i wanted a son bad enough i'd have borrowed one of yours, I do not want "young" , under 58 !!!! and one even said, "i have 13 inches", i told him to put that right between his legs and up his ass !!!!!!! of course, he is also "not" caucasian, which i listed as a priority, no towel heads or camel jockies for me !! not in this life....
so, looks like winston is my main man, but he can't hold a screwdriver or hammer, can't learn it either, so, i guess he will just be a "kept" man, and is he ever affectionate, all the time, also, though, can't spoon either....
so, guess what Stan the man and i did last night? went to a screening at the Gene Siskel(yes the dead movie critic) Theatre for the Arts, and....it was very, very hoity toity, but oh, so informational, many, many univ of chicago professors were there, and guess who I sat "next" to !!!!!! none other than David Axelrod, Barack's main advisor, his campaign manager, and....he shook my hand, and conversed with me. oh, and the director, ooooh lala, silver hair, cute, nice butt in his jeans...it was a documentary about Michael Phleger, the pastor of St. Sabina's, south side catholic church and father mike was there tooo, and answered every single question, about his activism, about Martin Luther King, Farrakhan, even al sharpton, and it was good, it made me even respect him more, all we see is the radical on the news, he's much more than that, and I am going to make a trip this Sunday to attend a Mass at his church, i've wanted to do that forever, so I will. Carol Marin was there, Bob Sirrott, Phil Ponce, to name just a few, and all part of the crowd that paid 10.00 a seat....
To say the least, Jim Rinaldi sure disappointed me, he sure came on strong, was thrilled about getting to know me, seemed to really like me, then poof/bang, he was gone in only 3 weeks, it didn't take long to show his true colors, guess those Ottawa guys have never gotten out of that mentality, so be it !!!! I think he has more deep issues that i'm interested in, thanks to Mike Nelson, the counselor that helped me, and if he could help me, then he could help anyone, i'm convinced.
So, tomorrow is September 1, soon time for the fall/winter clothing, and for my new life to begin, another phase, and what will it bring???? at least i know i'm not dead yet, cuz i'm actually looking forward to the next 30 or so years of my life, maybe i will really find where i belong, maybe i'll finally write a book, even if it's just for you, for my friends, it will be interesting, and before i die, I'm going to tell you everything, all the things i've kept from you all these years....oh, yes, there is more !!!! believe me, my life has been anything but dull, i've gotten into some very strange, weird, dark places and then right out into the sunlight, blue skies, rainbows, life is just about all that, we hide things that we don't want out there, but hey, none of us is perfect, well except Sally Artman, and none of us ever have to be ashamed of anything at all, it's just life and all the experiences it brings with us, we're only human, each and every one of us look in the toilet at our crap before we flush, we all pick our noses, and have bad breath in the morning, so we're all equal. Even you, who are saying, no i'm not, right at this time, you are tooo, and your special if i choose to send this to you, very special, at least to me, you have a place in my heart and head, every time i see something that reminds me of you, think of something that you and i experienced, misspell or mis punctuate a word, or phrase, cry, laugh, hurt, see something we've shared or had in common, your right there.
guess i'm not too funny today, my tooth hurts too much and my brain is turned off right now to humorous phrases and anecdote, i promise tomorrow will be better, i'll have him pull the damn tooth if necessary, but for now, have to go drown myself in vodka or kuhlua or something bad for me, so good bye to you and good bye to August 2009, what a month of highs and lows for me !!!! To Tuesday then, good evening !!!!!!
well, i just got back from taking another pain pill, did the beginnings of supper, we're having stuffed peppers tonight, easy to chew and digest. My day was unevenful, mailed social security my stuff, so, it's settled, i have applied, not ready for the easy chair yet, but getting ready, gosh, i don't like the feeling of this anymore than i liked the arrival of the AARP card, but guess i'll get use to it, sure use the aarp card for lots of useful stuff, ie the movies, starbucks, dairy queer, mcdonalds, amazon.com and barnes and noble, not to mention all the nights i book myself for all the vast masses of young studs i take to the notel motels.....lol. yes, i've even done that lately, posted on match.com for/and in "headlines" wanted a "mature" man, not relationship phobic, who wants a no strings attached friendship to date, fix my plumbing, ( the real plumbing) not the personal...and know what I get !!!!!! notes from 30 year olds saying they are "attracted" to mature women, now, look, if i wanted a son bad enough i'd have borrowed one of yours, I do not want "young" , under 58 !!!! and one even said, "i have 13 inches", i told him to put that right between his legs and up his ass !!!!!!! of course, he is also "not" caucasian, which i listed as a priority, no towel heads or camel jockies for me !! not in this life....
so, looks like winston is my main man, but he can't hold a screwdriver or hammer, can't learn it either, so, i guess he will just be a "kept" man, and is he ever affectionate, all the time, also, though, can't spoon either....
so, guess what Stan the man and i did last night? went to a screening at the Gene Siskel(yes the dead movie critic) Theatre for the Arts, and....it was very, very hoity toity, but oh, so informational, many, many univ of chicago professors were there, and guess who I sat "next" to !!!!!! none other than David Axelrod, Barack's main advisor, his campaign manager, and....he shook my hand, and conversed with me. oh, and the director, ooooh lala, silver hair, cute, nice butt in his jeans...it was a documentary about Michael Phleger, the pastor of St. Sabina's, south side catholic church and father mike was there tooo, and answered every single question, about his activism, about Martin Luther King, Farrakhan, even al sharpton, and it was good, it made me even respect him more, all we see is the radical on the news, he's much more than that, and I am going to make a trip this Sunday to attend a Mass at his church, i've wanted to do that forever, so I will. Carol Marin was there, Bob Sirrott, Phil Ponce, to name just a few, and all part of the crowd that paid 10.00 a seat....
To say the least, Jim Rinaldi sure disappointed me, he sure came on strong, was thrilled about getting to know me, seemed to really like me, then poof/bang, he was gone in only 3 weeks, it didn't take long to show his true colors, guess those Ottawa guys have never gotten out of that mentality, so be it !!!! I think he has more deep issues that i'm interested in, thanks to Mike Nelson, the counselor that helped me, and if he could help me, then he could help anyone, i'm convinced.
So, tomorrow is September 1, soon time for the fall/winter clothing, and for my new life to begin, another phase, and what will it bring???? at least i know i'm not dead yet, cuz i'm actually looking forward to the next 30 or so years of my life, maybe i will really find where i belong, maybe i'll finally write a book, even if it's just for you, for my friends, it will be interesting, and before i die, I'm going to tell you everything, all the things i've kept from you all these years....oh, yes, there is more !!!! believe me, my life has been anything but dull, i've gotten into some very strange, weird, dark places and then right out into the sunlight, blue skies, rainbows, life is just about all that, we hide things that we don't want out there, but hey, none of us is perfect, well except Sally Artman, and none of us ever have to be ashamed of anything at all, it's just life and all the experiences it brings with us, we're only human, each and every one of us look in the toilet at our crap before we flush, we all pick our noses, and have bad breath in the morning, so we're all equal. Even you, who are saying, no i'm not, right at this time, you are tooo, and your special if i choose to send this to you, very special, at least to me, you have a place in my heart and head, every time i see something that reminds me of you, think of something that you and i experienced, misspell or mis punctuate a word, or phrase, cry, laugh, hurt, see something we've shared or had in common, your right there.
guess i'm not too funny today, my tooth hurts too much and my brain is turned off right now to humorous phrases and anecdote, i promise tomorrow will be better, i'll have him pull the damn tooth if necessary, but for now, have to go drown myself in vodka or kuhlua or something bad for me, so good bye to you and good bye to August 2009, what a month of highs and lows for me !!!! To Tuesday then, good evening !!!!!!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Aug 30 Day 5
It's 1:30 p.m. so far a very uneventful day, showered, put make up on, for Winston, had a light lunch and chocolate ice cream and laid back down..
then wrote Jim an addendum to the first note I wrote him telling him, Good bye fucker! read some emails, read some of my book, now downstairs to write a little, going to the post office to mail the note before I change my mind, and Stan and are I going into the City to a movie about Father Michael Phlegar, the controversial priest from the south side, think it will be interesting and something for the head to think about, tomorrow will be a new day and with it what adventures will come my way???
I am, however, beginning to "plan" for my future, take a look at options, will check daily to see if any money has arrived, if not, i'll be stuck here for a while, no one will pay me for my charm and grace, lol, but that tin can is looking better every day. Guess I will begin to gather the dreaded boxes for yet another move, how many boxes have I accumulated in my life? and next weeek, I'm off to Florida to help/accompany my best friend on earth home, so she and I are starting out all over one more time, we're good at this, so why be surprised? well, we aren't but others always are!!! but we have really found ourselves over the last few years, have been independent of what others think, advise us to do, and have decided on our own !!!! and, damnit, people still like us, better yet, we like ourselves more !
I did, shower and shave my legs and pits today, amazing, and just for me, cuz i'm the only one who will rub them, feel them, and I like it, think i'll get duded up for the city this afternoon, and when i see myself in a reflection, i'll say, "well, you look nice today!" such small things make me happy !!
this Jim thing really blew my mind, and it's not at all like me, but it came out of nowhere, went nowhere and damn it, i'm mad about it...but, you won't have to hear about it much longer, I say, to myself, "get over it or under it" so i will do just that!
September is Tuesday, can you even believe it? football games, chili, hot tea, and wonderful smells abound, and Marcia's birthday !!!! Guess she's catching up with me, but, i'll always be older than her !!
Time soon to put everything to sleep, the flowers, the summer clothes, the birds will go to their winter homes, stores will have christmas stuff in by the middle of the month , why????? and, what will i do with the christmas tree i bought from QVC a couple of years ago? leave it for stan? NOT...and what about the king size bed i paid half of? guess I'll cut it right in half, and take my half to LaSalle county...novel idea... and half a sheet, and half a comforter???? and one curtain out of two..??
what can i find that is humorous today to write about?? maybe when we get home I'll have seen something in the city, that's always humorous, the gay people, the homeless people, the street musicians? , the cubs or sox? they are humorous, make all that money and can't hit a dang little ball, maybe i'll have a martini this afternoon and fall down, that might be a laugh!!! but you won't be here to laugh with me, so thats a bummer and stan would leave me lay ! then I'd shoot him, that would be a funny vision. oh, i wrote to Dan Gaefke, state trooper i went to school with and he's head of the firearm's division, and told him Jim takes an antidepressant and has lots of guns, it's illegal to do both, so they will take it, thats funny !!! payback is a motherfucker !!! break my heart/ego, and see what ya get !!!!!
well, check back later, we'll be home by 9, so i'll write more then, maybe something really funny will happen or come about, i can make anything funny, i think, but others don't seem to see my humor the way i do, maybe we'll see a funeral/wake and i keep baggies with me for leftovers, some soul food would hit the spot at about 10 p.m. tonight....we have that to look forward too, i call it substitute for meals on wheels, sooon we'll have a funeral every day, some zip lock bags for a light meal in the evening, and better than that institutional food anytime, and fall is best, people really make all their great recipes for the dead !! kind of funny, isn't it????
till then...i'm still....
Winstons mom
then wrote Jim an addendum to the first note I wrote him telling him, Good bye fucker! read some emails, read some of my book, now downstairs to write a little, going to the post office to mail the note before I change my mind, and Stan and are I going into the City to a movie about Father Michael Phlegar, the controversial priest from the south side, think it will be interesting and something for the head to think about, tomorrow will be a new day and with it what adventures will come my way???
I am, however, beginning to "plan" for my future, take a look at options, will check daily to see if any money has arrived, if not, i'll be stuck here for a while, no one will pay me for my charm and grace, lol, but that tin can is looking better every day. Guess I will begin to gather the dreaded boxes for yet another move, how many boxes have I accumulated in my life? and next weeek, I'm off to Florida to help/accompany my best friend on earth home, so she and I are starting out all over one more time, we're good at this, so why be surprised? well, we aren't but others always are!!! but we have really found ourselves over the last few years, have been independent of what others think, advise us to do, and have decided on our own !!!! and, damnit, people still like us, better yet, we like ourselves more !
I did, shower and shave my legs and pits today, amazing, and just for me, cuz i'm the only one who will rub them, feel them, and I like it, think i'll get duded up for the city this afternoon, and when i see myself in a reflection, i'll say, "well, you look nice today!" such small things make me happy !!
this Jim thing really blew my mind, and it's not at all like me, but it came out of nowhere, went nowhere and damn it, i'm mad about it...but, you won't have to hear about it much longer, I say, to myself, "get over it or under it" so i will do just that!
September is Tuesday, can you even believe it? football games, chili, hot tea, and wonderful smells abound, and Marcia's birthday !!!! Guess she's catching up with me, but, i'll always be older than her !!
Time soon to put everything to sleep, the flowers, the summer clothes, the birds will go to their winter homes, stores will have christmas stuff in by the middle of the month , why????? and, what will i do with the christmas tree i bought from QVC a couple of years ago? leave it for stan? NOT...and what about the king size bed i paid half of? guess I'll cut it right in half, and take my half to LaSalle county...novel idea... and half a sheet, and half a comforter???? and one curtain out of two..??
what can i find that is humorous today to write about?? maybe when we get home I'll have seen something in the city, that's always humorous, the gay people, the homeless people, the street musicians? , the cubs or sox? they are humorous, make all that money and can't hit a dang little ball, maybe i'll have a martini this afternoon and fall down, that might be a laugh!!! but you won't be here to laugh with me, so thats a bummer and stan would leave me lay ! then I'd shoot him, that would be a funny vision. oh, i wrote to Dan Gaefke, state trooper i went to school with and he's head of the firearm's division, and told him Jim takes an antidepressant and has lots of guns, it's illegal to do both, so they will take it, thats funny !!! payback is a motherfucker !!! break my heart/ego, and see what ya get !!!!!
well, check back later, we'll be home by 9, so i'll write more then, maybe something really funny will happen or come about, i can make anything funny, i think, but others don't seem to see my humor the way i do, maybe we'll see a funeral/wake and i keep baggies with me for leftovers, some soul food would hit the spot at about 10 p.m. tonight....we have that to look forward too, i call it substitute for meals on wheels, sooon we'll have a funeral every day, some zip lock bags for a light meal in the evening, and better than that institutional food anytime, and fall is best, people really make all their great recipes for the dead !! kind of funny, isn't it????
till then...i'm still....
Winstons mom
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