Day 7

hi there, Tuesday night, not feeling very funny tonight either, had 4 (yes four) teeth filled today, seems the left side of my mouth has went to the dogs, the dentist even asked if I've started to suck on hard candy when i go to bed, no, i havent....i guess i'm just falling aprart at my young age, dratt !!!!

Now, some of you know and understand my professional dilemna, others, I've not even gone into that story at all, if you "wish" and if you email me, and those I send this to know how, but this isn't for the public, i will tell you the story, but, it involves my year as a supervisor at Maxim, which at the time, had a great boss and a great co supervisor, I thought, though they have never called me nor answered any of my letters, but I am going thru a bad time now with DCFS and IDPR, have asked both for continuances due to my medical condition, my diagnosis of "expressive aphasia" and cognitive disorder and they haven't answered me yet, but also, the doc said i should be on social security disability now, so this will impact my money...greatly, but i've applied for it, sent the application in today, expect to have to go to a doctor they pick and a few hearings, but if you've talked me to, you understand, i'm not dumb, don't have dementia, (yet) but anytime i'm under stress or pressure, i then speak jibbersh, and it sucks !!!

and, another happening !!!! today, when i turned on the cell phone, there was a message from none other than Jim, asking if i was going to home today, this was left at 6:45 p.m. last night , i don't have the cell on when i'm home ever... and lo and behold, he called again today, just to say he'd like to talk to me at 10 a.m tomorrow, that I didn't do anything wrong, that he is screwed up but wants to talk, i said, " I don't believe you", but, i did say it was okay to call me tomorrow, but actually i want to see him face to face, eyeball to eyeball, cuz I would like an explanation. but, today, he got the letter from me, hadn't opened it yet, but i also said one to his main squeeze and told them both that they are retarded, and said, fuck you, Jim Rinaldi.....
quite clearly, so maybe once he reads what I had to say, he won't call, and know what, I "think" i want him to call, but if he doesn't , it was not meant to be, ce la vi !!!
so, i'm asking....your opinion please????

tonight i'm watching a Chinese film, "Man, Woman, Love, Eat" it has english subtitles and is kind of a soap opera about a man who is a chef, he's widowed with 3 grown daughters, sort of interesting, it's in modern tie, so computers, one daughter is even an airline executive, and there is even sex in the movie, and.....the women don't have sideways vagina's like i've always been taught !!!!

well, the pressure is on now, I'm kind of funny naturally, i can think of a lot of humorous things, but i can't be funny at times i'm thinking about being funny, but life is funny, isn't it? we get ourselves in such situations, some embarrassing, some sad, some shameful, but actually, i see humor in all of it, if a person doesn't laugh a lot, then they will surely cry, now, crying is what i do easiest...my dad use to say "sherry, your bladder is to close to your eyes". now i know what he meant, is your there tooo???

so, friday night is the ice breaker for the class of 69, i want to go cuz i know a lot of people, and Saturday night is the annual "cruise night" in streator, we didnt' call it cruise back in the day, we called it "toolin downtown" remember that word? Toolin? and we all knew exactly what it meant, now they think it s a big deal to drive those old cars around, bench seats, (good to sit next to your guy) big steering wheels, bigger back seats, we could get "all" of our friends in the car, and even went with a load to the drive in movies, and the band before the movie??? the Tempo's or The Techniques, the same guys that played at Norris hall and then eventually the Grove, and How about that grove???? fun fun, booze, lots of booze and sex, it was a great pick up place for us girls as well as the guys !!!!
see, my mind does wander , doesn't it????? but, we who grew up in the 60's had not clue of what being a young woman istoday, we only knew about getting married, having babies, being secretaries, our role model was "that girl" or june and ward cleaver, or the andersons on Father knows best.....today i would tell young girls go to any big city, get a job, an apartment, a roomate, (a gay guy friend is the best) make money and save it, go on vacations, or apply to work for a year or so on a cruise line, they could meet young people from all over the world to visit later, thats what I would do if I were young again...
well, i guess tomorrow will bring yet another chapter to my life...will he call, won't he? will i accept his excuse, won't I? at least my tooth isn't hurting any longer, guess you've heard enough about that, right????
My grandson, Christopher, has started school again for the year, hope it's as good a year as last was, he got an award for reading more library books than any other kid and "all" A's on his report card, all year, he's sooo smart, and we're proud of him, Ryan's only job this year is stay as cute as he is and learn more new things...What fun they are !!!!
Well, good night, it's time to check my email and attempt to look at facebook one more time....
Till tomorrow night,
I'm still

Winston's mom !!!!!!!!