Day 3

Friday night, the week end looms ahead and what plans do i have for the week end???? none at all, i went to the dentist this a.m. got my tooth fixed, have another appt tues a.m. came home, chatted on the net with my gf, who will remain nameless, cuz her dtr had a fit with me, says i should "not" use names in this blog, i guess i lack blog etiquette, so I won't use anymore names, only an initial, but it's my writing and just for me, but i don't want to be on anymore lists, another friend, has criticized my writing, my use of small caps and poor punctuation, but hey, this isn't going to be submitted to a teacher, nor will it ever be prize winning, just for me, and for those of you who enjoy what i write, I am sending it to those that I "think" will enjoy it, or link them to the site if they ask, and there are those of you who wrote and emphatically praised my writing, laugh and enjoy it....and i thank you for that, the others i will not send it to, cuz they didn't see the humor in it, the beauty of my thoughts, just as they are !!! so, it's off the list for them !!!!!!! and onto my rambling for tonight. Are you here with me?????
so, today is a sucky day, i came home and winston and i slept the afternoon away, he snored, he also got a new hair do today, so, he's very peppy tonight, brought charcoal in from outside to eat and made a mess on the carpet !!!
Soon enough, it will be just he and I and the 2 cats, living alone, and the dilemna is ::::: Where or where will that be? If you get this, you can give me some suggestions, I have come to really like it up here, in suburbia, but can't afford it on my own, unless I become a MADAME or something illegal, and I actually have no girlfriends up here in Steppford, my real friends are in places i am not attracted to live in....certainly not Streator, not grand ridge, the kids are in Ottawa, but so is Jim and that failed as fast as it began, his loss though, i didn't have one thing to do with that, but he is still the same o, same o, hasn't grown up a bit, hasn't seeked out help for his dysfunction which is severe co dependence, anxiety and guilt, and i won't deal with that, took care of mine and won't inherit anothers, at least it was only 3 weeks, he's chosen to stay with a bible thumper, right to lifer, mom of a retard who is herself a retard, doesn't clean house or do dishes, Jim is happy with all his belongings in his car, so no one takes or uses them...cleaning the house, doing any dish so he can have a drink, but, gets regular sex from her, so it's okay with him, talk about still being 17 instead of 62 ! So, enough of that, it's over and it didn't cost me anything this time, thats a big improvement !!!!! He gets his kicks from giving a woman a ride, asking her to take her clothes off so he can look, which the sicko's do, then dropping them off, he will get rolled or come to a violent end, we'll read about him in the obituaries....and his son, doesn't even know me, but chooses a relationship "with" me instead of his father, wants to stay away from the dysfunction, so i'll take a surrogate role there.... JIM AND SABINA ARE A MATCH MADE IN HELL and they can stay there !!!!
So, now for a positive note, I love you, if I send this to you, I do love you, your a good friend, and you've been placed in my life for a reason, as a gift from God, and you and i have many years of health in store for us, and sharing, and coping with stuff.
I did come up with an idea for a new career change today for myself and my friend, L, who will be in Illinois in 2 weeks or so, and it's a really good idea, with a lot of need and will serve the masses, but I can't say yet, cuz she asked me not too, but as soon as we figure out a name for this, we will tell you, and you can then spread the word, trust me, it's an eye opener and will be a success and we don't "have" to work for others, can work for ourselves and be free to do what we know is right for others, and pays for itself !!! Believe me, after all these years, I actually came up with it, can work for myself, no other bosses, cuz i don't do well with the corporate world, the "go with the flow" world and I've worked for a lot of foreignors and cheaters in my life, so it's a grea idea !!!!!!!!!!
we will need a website, anyone have any experience with that?????? i don't.... we don't need any start up money, it's purely a service business and we have the knowledge to do this !!!!!
So, it's exciting...my current problem is where will i live? and where do i get the money foryet another move????? i am so sick of packing and moving, it just makes me ill to even think about it again, I would love to just walk out of here, leave furnture and stuff and move into new...why can't people just trade stuff every few years??? Of course, i "need" my school report cards, y kindergarten diploma, my old Life magazines, that is good "stuff" guess i'm sure my dad's daughter, lol and proud of it !!!!!!
Today I heard they called "stan, the man" at an old high school he taught at, I've wondered where his baggage came from, and this is just part of it......i can't seem to do well with men for the long run, I like em, they like me, then poooof !!! it all stops !!!! But can't let that get me down, cuz I have learned we were never meant to "live" with them full time, we don't "think" the same way, they have very limited thought processes and outlooks, why the heck do they figure mileage per gallon every single fill up? i don't get it, I need gas to drive, I drive, wherever i want/need to go, thats the end of it....don't you????
and they "won't " ask for directions unless they need to go potty, need a snack, need something......we pull right up to others and just ask, pure and simple....and why won't they use that little road in the middle of an interstate, they really "think" it means emergency vehicles cuz it says "emergency vehicles" only, that is soo silly....why drive down the road when it's right there for a U turn,
see, i truly ramble here, but these are my true thoughts at this time of night, if i didn't discover this place I would never write them down, and take them to bed with me, this is better, i figure it out here and sleep like a babe !!!!!
Tomorrow is Saturday, that means i forgot to take winston to his obedience class tonight, shit, completely forgot till right now, Like this stuff belongs in my blog !!!! brother....bear with me here, what is the word blog short for anyhow? Where did it come from? different than a short story....remember short stories..... What i did on my summer vacation" gosh, i made those vacations up, we didn't go on a summer vacation, but i didn't want to be different, and i always got an A on the papes, guess i will confess to that, probably was a venial sin back then...
Bless me Father, i made up lots of short stories about vacations i never had, guess the nuns didn't have them either, cuz they believed a lot of crap, gave me good grades and i never even saw the places i wrote about.....brother. !!
Guess i could have gotten paid to do travel logs !!!!!!!!!!
Well, its time to close, Stan is distracting me, he's sitting in here, asleep with his mouth open, like a dead person, maybe i should check and see if he's breathing....if not, what would i do with him???? he's never even told me, so, guess thats the end of it, and ginger can't talk and tell me what to do, and lauren is only 12, shit the bed !!!!
Good night my friends and readers, i'll be back tomorrow night....

Winston's mom